Nerds and Sex Gods
by the dyslexic bookworm
Summary: "Nerd!" "Hey take that back!" I said throwing my book at him. "We prefer the term academic." "Yes, and I prefer the term Sex God, but since you've only just stopped saying my name as though it was blasphemy, I won't push my luck." CHAOS AND ROMANCE!
1. Chapter 1

**_Chapter One_**

_Of Nerds and Sex Gods_

A/n this is an experiment. It may start slow. Please tell me what you think

My name is Lily Evans and I do NOT like Valentines Day.

Let's start with the name. St. Valentine was not the patron saint of over-priced cards and chocolates. Evil Pink and Red Over-Priced Hallmark Card Day can kiss my arse. I have a quiet Common Room, and book of fun facts, and a fire. I'm good where I am. Let everyone else go sow their oats in the blood of other's broken hearts…actually that was kind of poetic. I like it!

So that's how it all started, a Valentines Day.

I was sitting there, minding my own business, when suddenly a voice behind me whispered, "Hey Flower."

"Potter…" I said as a growl under my breath, warning intended.

Fluttering his eyes innocently he replied "Yes…"

"Go. Away."

"This is not your Common Room Flower, it's for everyone. Sharing is caring."

"Fine." Nose buried in my book, I was determined to not let his presence phase me. How long could he stay anyway? Goodness knows about ten girls ask him out a day.

Minutes passed. Twenty to be exact. Twenty minutes of him boring holes in my skull. Watching me read.

"So here's a fun fact…" James looks up shocked at my words. "…go away!"

"Do you really want to spend another Valentines Day alone?"

"What and your gonna be my Prince and dash to rescue me from my loneliness while I'm stuck up in my tower?"

"Well yes, that was the general idea."

Then he had the audacity to wink.

So let me pause here to say I hate when guys wink. It's not cute. It looks like a twitch. Twitching isn't sexy. And really? This guy has put my through hell for years, and he thinks he has the right to wink at me? But I guess truth is I'm not so much angry anymore as I am tired.

"James," I say with a sigh, "can you just leave me alone?"

"Well I defiantly can't do that now."

"Why? Because even though my lips say no my eyes cry yes yes, oh god yes?" I laugh bitterly.

"No." He says, his lop-sided grin appearing.

Theres a moment of silence that seems to takes hours.

"Because you just called me James."

I stare at him blankly.

"So?"

His smile only widens.

"You called me James." He said elongating the words the way children do when teasing.

"Shut up!"

But he only smiles more at my anger. It like someone is chanting "Lily and James sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G." I can tell I've flushed red and subsequently must look like a tomato or radish or possibly balloon.

"Don't you have somewhere to be?" I spit venomously.

"Nope!"

"Oh come on! You always has a tramp waiting outside, can't you go off galavanting with her and let me alone?"

"Ok first of all not all of my girlfriends are tramps. Only most are. And secondly, since you refuse to spend Valentines Day with me every single year, I've decided I will just spend it with you!"

"You do know that there's a reason I don't spend it with you. So take you girlfriends and go have fun."

"I couldn't even if I wanted to."

"Why have they all moved on to stalking Sirius. If so I'm sooo sorry for your loss."

"Actually I refuse to see any woman until you go one one date with me And actually yes…" He looked amused, "In my absence Sirius gained another fan club."

"Wait what?"

"Well he had one fan club, and now he has-"

"Not that you dolt!"

"Oh you mean the first part.' He eyes twinkled the way they always do when he's about to pull a prank.

"No the other bomb you just dropped on me."

"I thought you would have noticed by now." He looked almost disappointed, "It's been two months."

"Well I… I mean… I guess I assumed you were just being quieter about your escapades."

"Never assume, it makes an "ass out of you and me." Always speculate…it makes a spec out of you and some guy named late."

I couldn't help it. I cracked up laughing.

"James!" I gasped for breath. "James that is just awful! By far the worst joke I've ever heard."

"Or the best. I haven't seen you laugh this much since I died Malfoy's hair pink for a week."

"I'm laughing because it was ridiculous."

He shrugged jokingly, "I'll take what I can get."

After I catch my breath there's more silence.

I HATE silence.

"Hey…wanna know a fun fact?"

"If your going to yell again, no."

"Did you know the Uric the Oddball tried to leave all his wealth to his pet cat?"

"How the hell is that a fun fact? There is absolutely nothing fun about it. That's like saying "hey, here's a fun math problem." "Or here's a fun chemical formula to memorize."

I couldn't help but giggle.

"I'm being serious here." He cried, feigning offense.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were James. My bad."

"Ha Ha. Your so puny."

"Well it is Punday Sunday."

"Whosey whasey?"

"Punday Sunday…" I gave him a look that clearly said "duhh."

"Oh I get it, it's a nerd joke!"

"Hey take that back!" I said throwing my book at him. "We prefer the term academic."

"Yes, and I prefer the term Sex God, but since you've only just stopped saying my name as though it was blasphemy, I won't push my luck."

I gaped at him in shock. Sex God? Really?

"Ok well here's a compromise. You can call me a nerd, if I get to refer to you as Signore Silly Pants."

Now it was his term to gape.

After a moment he doubled over laughing.

"Signore." Gasp. "Silly." Gasp. "Pants?"

"You heard me."

"Why would you ever feel the need to call me that?"

"Because in third year your mother sent you that ridiculous pair of bright yellow pants and you actually wore them. For a week straight might I add!"

"You remember my pants?"

"They were pretty unforgettable."

"But you remember what I wore?"

"Yeah but it's not like I noticed on purpose. I mean they were neon yellow. I was practically blinded by the site."

"So that entire year, when you pretended to ignore me and whenever I said something you would be all "do you guys hear something?" you were actually checking me out!" He said with a laugh and stuck out his tongue.

"Is the pot calling the kettle black?" I responded sticking my tongue out as well.

"You really shouldn't do that." His voice went soft and deep suddenly, as though it was velvet.

"Why not?"

"If you stick out your tongue it will end up in someones mouth."

He said is with such sincerity and seriousness that I was taken aback for a moment.

In my shock he smiled, his voice instantly returning to normal. "I'm joking. Relax."

"Don't you know me better than that? I don't relax. How many times have you called me a control freak?"

He started counting on his fingers.

"James!"

"Don't you ever just breath?"

I shook my head no.

"I don't no how to turn my brain off. To just make it go quite."

"Funny, I don't know how to turn my brain on-"

"James!"

He just laughed. Then the room went quite.

A few minutes passed in silence. He just sat there, and I stared at the pages of my book. I must have read the same line about twenty times before he spoke up.

"So I'm thirsty…"

"James, I don't drink.

He smiled. "I meant I want hot chocolate."

My face once again turned tomato red. _Stupid Lily! Oh course that's what he meant. _The mental kicking began again.

"Lil?"

"Whah." I said dumbly, coming out of my mental beat down.

"Hot chocolate?"

"What about it?"

"Do you want some some or not?"

"Oh right…yeah sure I guess."

I slipped back into chastising myself inside my head.

"Well are you coming or not?"

I looked up to see him standing in front of my, hand extended.

I must have looked confused because he withdrew his hand and ran his hands through his hair, clearly embarrassed.

"So yeah, to the kitchens." He muttered.

"Oh…yeah that makes sense," I stood up quickly and managed to bonk him in the nose with my forehead.

"Fuck."

"Lily!"

I blushed again, but he just laughed.

""What if a teacher heard you?" He said mockingly.

"Oh the horror!" I feigned fright.

"Um…James?"

"What?"

I flushed deeper…"You nose…"

"It's fine, it didn't even really hurt, I'm-"

"No. I mean." Pause awkwardly. "It's bleeding."

"Bloody hell!" He reached up to touch is and saw the blood on his hands.

"I'm so sorry!"

"Lily, it's no big deal." He said summoning a box of tissues.

I sighed and cringed. "I'm a spaz."

"It's ok."

"It's awful."

"It's endearing."

"I disagree."

"Well I think it's cute." He said smiling.

I cracked up laughing.

"See I told you I'm charming!"

I gasped for air. "No James, It's just," gasp, "It's looks like your wearing barbie red lip-stick."

He quickly wiped his face, cringing slightly in pain. The tissues seemed to be no use at all.

"Oh hold stick for Merlin's sake." I said whipping out my wand and pointing it at his face.

He instantly side stepped to move out of the way. "Sorry, reflex. I've seen what happens to people on the other end of your wand."

"Hold still."

I pointed and with a flick the blood was gone and the nose was fine. "See that wasn't so bad was it?"

He just smiled.

"Again, I'm really sorry."

"Lil, I say this with love, but shut up."

I must have looked shocked because he added, "A quaffle to the face broke my nose second year, then a bluger did the same in fourth and fifth year, not to mention that Sirius has literally broken my nose about five times with his beater's bat and Remus has broken it at least once. I'm fine."

I smiled awkwardly and nodded. "Wait Remus?"

He flushed. "Yeah, I mean..like not that he meant to..it's..I mean…' His voice slowly trailed off. His face looked stressed as though he was trying to remember the answer to a test question.

"James. It's ok. I know."

"Know what?" He said far to quickly. For a prankster this guy can't lie to save his skin.

"I know. I've know since second year."

"But how?"

"Um hello, nerd!" I said pointing to myself. "I read for fun."

He smiled slightly. "I thought we weren't using that word! And we really should change that you know."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

"I have an idea!" He cried, eyes suddenly twinkling.

"No."

"But-"

"No."

"But why?"

"Last time I listened to your ideas I ended up covered in ink because you frightened the giant squid."

"Come on! That was like, what three years ago?"

"No."

"Ok, it I promise no harm will come to you…"

"Your usually the one causing the harm." I said with a laugh.

"See then I can keep my promise!"

I giggled. Yes giggled…how very embarrassing,

"See you already like the idea!"

"I haven't heard it!"

"You don't need to. Just come with me!" He said giddily grabbing my hand and dragging me out of the Common Room.

"James where the hell are we going."

"Shhhhh you'll see!"

"James I'm in pyjamas."

"Shhhhh you'll see."

"James I'm not wearing any shoes."

"Shhhhh, you'll see."

I stopping in my tracks. "James, shoes!"

"Oh right…" He pointed his wand at my feet and my favorite pair of flats appeared on them.

I looked at him oddly.

"Are you really that surprised that I know what your favorite shoes are?" It wasn't really a question.

"Please just tell me you haven't raided my closet again."

"Aren't you ever gonna let that go? It was third year. And I returned everything….eventually…"

"Not true! I'm still missing my favorite green bra!" Fuck I didn't mean to say that out-loud…

"The one that matches your eyes?" Suddenly he stopped, red patches on his cheeks. "Umm…I mean…blame Sirius for that one!" He said in a rush.

"Sirius has seen my bra!" I cried in horror.

"Actually he transformed it into a sling shot after…never mind."

"After?"

"I said never mind."

"James!"

"It's no big deal. Just forget it."

I opened my mouth to protest when I noticed where we were.

"James, there is no way in hell I' going outside."

"Please!"

"NO!"

"It'll be fun!"

"James!"

"Don't you trust me?" His eyes where dark and serious.

"I mean, outside-"

"Lily. Do you trust me?" His eyes bore into mine.

I sighed and nodded.

He smile, pushed open the door and suddenly grabbed me so he was holding me princess style. And out into the snow we went.

I shivered. "It's freezing out!"

"Shhh you'll see."

"Oh god not this again!"

"Shhh you'll see!"

"Can I at least get a coat?"

"Shhh you'll see."

"James! Coat!"

He smiled and suddenly I was dressed in warm winter clothes. I didn't even bother to ask how he knew what size I wore. Truth Is I was scared of the answer.

He remained in his jeans and sweat-shirt.

By now we were heading down the grounds.

"Umm James…"

He must have not heard me. He had a smile on his face and looked determined.

"James?"

He smiled and looked at me.

"You know you've said my name twenty-four times tonight." His lop-sided grin inches form my face.

I rolled my eyes. "Yes James…"

"Twenty-five!" He scried and twirled around until I was so dizzy I begged him to stop.

"James-"

"Twenty-six!" He yelled triumphantly.

"That's great." I said with an eye-roll. "But why are we at the Quittach pitch?"

"Shhh you'll see. Now close your eyes." He said setting me down next to him.

I shivered. It was snowing again.

"Please!" He sounded like a small child on Christmas so I complied.

When he said I could open them nothing seemed different, save the fact that he had a broom at hand.

I looked confused again.

"Look up."

I noticed candles floating in the air in odd shaped clumps.

I became visibly more confused.

"You'll see, trust me." He whispered mounted the broom and pulling my on behind him.

"James, I can't fly."

"Good, I wasn't going to let you." He said turning to face me. His eyes once again twinkled.

"Hold on tight!"

"James!"

"TWENTY EIGHT!"

A/N

I haven't written in 3 years...I could use some advice and reviews please!


	2. Of Hospital Wings and Shiny Things

**_Chapter 2_**

_Of Hospital Wings and Shiny Things_

A/N

this choppy is dedicated to YouMakeMyWOrldSHine! my first review! I got three reviews..id really appreciate more, again first story in years...

My name is LIly Evans and I do NOT like flying.

Call me a control freak, but I don't like having my feet off the ground. It just seems dangerous.

Plus it's not something you can learn out of a book…unfortunately. Quittach Through the Ages is useless.

So as James pushed off the ground hard I did exactly what anyone in my position would to. I closed my eyes, grabbed him so tight I may have broken one of his ribs, and screamed.

Wind rush at me, so I ducked and used James as a shield. I could hear him laughing the entire time. A deep belly laugh as though my horror was amusing. Damn James. Damn broomstick. Damn Valentines Day!

Then suddenly the wind stopped and we were still. I slowly and timidly opened my eyes. _OK Lily, just 't look down. There's nothing down there. Don't look down. FUCK! I'm looking down!_

I gripped James tightly, which just made him smile.

_I hate him. I am absolutely never listing to him again. I mean really? It's freezing, I'm fifty feet off the ground..._

"Lily stop yelling inside your head. It makes you look constipated."

"I…you…gash! Shut up! And get me down from here."

"I'm afraid I can't do that." He said with his mischievous lop-sided grin.

"Why the bloody hell not."

"Isn't it obvious. Then you'll let go of me!"

So this is when I did something really dumb.

Everyone calls my the smartest witch of my age. They are all wrong. Because I chose this time to get pissed and let go.

I am not graceful, or balanced, or coordinated in the slightest way. I trip over air, I slip-on my feet, and I fall off chairs.

_Wait, who the hell is screaming! _ I tried to look around and see where the noise was coming from. I was greeting by massive amounts of wind. _Fuck! that's me screaming. I'm falling…._

_HOLY SHIT I'M FALLING! SOME ONE SAVE ME! I DON'T LIKE THIS! IS THAT THE BLOODY GROUND. FRICK! DOUBLE FRICK! FRICK ON A STICK WITH A BRICK! _

_POTTER!_

_James's Pro_

"It was supposed to be romantic! Their were candles and-"

"You broke half the bones in her body!"

"Yeah Prongsie-poo, you fucked up. Big time."

"Shut up Sirius. And Moony, can you at least pretend to empathize?"

"I mean, feel bad…but mostly for her…"

"She's gonna hate you…well even more than she already hated you. Which was a lot. Your basically fucked-"

"SHUT UP PADFOOT!" I said shoving him backward.

"This is not the time to get violent." Remus said finally putting his book down. "You," He said pointing a finger at me accusingly, "need to fix this. And fast."

"I…well…this beyond a get well soon card isn't it…"

"No shit Sherlock.."

"Sirius shut it. at this point your not helping helping. Prongs, what you need to do is go beg Sam for help."

"No! I refuse to let him ask for help from that…that witch!" Sirius cried.

"And what makes you think I would help you anyway." Came a voice from about twenty feet away.

"Pay no attention to the woman behind the curtain!" Sirius whispered.

"You know I'm not a super hero, but I can hear you."

The voice stepped out form behind the curtain that surrounded Lily's bed.

Out stepped Samantha, a sharp tongued seventh year who was the Yang to Lily's Ying.

Sam had always been good friends with the Marauders…except for Sirius. They had been thick as thieves until fourth year…no one knew what happened…but now their distain for each other was evident.

"But James, if you want help I'll be happy to give it…for Lily's sake. Plus I think the two of you would be a cute couple." She said facing me, her back to Sirius. That really madam smile. See someone believes in me!

"LIly will be awake in about an hour." She added.

"Shows how much you know." Sirius laughed. "Madam Pomfrey said two hours."

She ignored him. "So you have sixty minutes to come up with a plan."

She's really quite beautiful in a weird way. Not that I have any interest. She's Lily's best friend, and I think Sirius secretly fancies her. Deep down. Very deep down. She's kinda his Lily…well kinda. She's the only one she rejects him, Even though it's obvious he wants her. It's sad really…I mean I don't think he's gonna marry her. And yes Lily and I will get married. And have lots of kids. And the first one will be James Junior! And we'll have a great house. And our own Quittach Pitch! YEAH! And James Jr. will be good at Quittich. Oh no! What if he's like Lily and can't fly? It would be awful. W by that can't fly..I mean-

Wait where was I? Oh right Sam. So she's really interesting looking. Like beautiful but not cute or classic. Kinda like Marylyn Monroe. If Marylyn was funkier. She has these giant eyes that are almost gold colored, well more amber…and rainbow hair! I swear. Its black with purple and orange and blue and green…and it's shiny…I like shiny things…Wiait where was I?

"Earth to James!"

"What?"

"Now you have fifty-eight minutes."

"Look just because the divination teacher claims you have a thread eye or some bullshit doesn't mean you know better than Madam Pomfrey!"

_OK Maybe he doesn't like her…_

"And just because the girls in the school claim your good looking or some bull shit doesn't mean you have a sex appeal any higher than the average cockroach!"

"Sam, just because you think you're so high and mighty-"

"I'm high and mighty? This from the guy who goes around telling everyone he's a god sent here to please women."

"That was one time! In fifth year! And it was a joke!"

"Yes but the retarded girls of our year actually believed it and-"

"How is that my fault? Just because you think they're all dumb-"

"They are dumb! They pad their fucking bra's with pages from novels I read!"

"Well just because you don't have to pad your bra doesn't mean you get to hate on less busty girls!"

"Can we not talk about my breasts-"

"Well maybe if you didn't parade them around. Bloody hell! Don't you own a shirt that covers your cleavage?"

"Oh this from the guy who shags he skankiest girls in the school! and I'll wear what I damn well please, if it bothers you don't stare at my chest!"

"Well it's hard not to! And it's not like your little miss innocent."

"That's none of your damn business! Who I date-"

"Of course it's my damn business."

"Oh yeah? Why the hell is that?"

"Because..well just because!"

_They are really loud when they fight! this does make me feel better about my situation though..._

"Um guys-"

"What Remus?" Sirius snapped.

"Your in the Hospital Wing and Madam Pomfrey looks like she's about to kill you both."

They both blushed red.

_I know it's sad, but their disfunction really does make me feel better._

"So a plan?" I said timidly.

"Right." Sam said taking a deep breath. "So you need to be there when she wakes up. Don't let PomPom delivered the news 'cuz she always makes it sound worse than it is. Lils is not gonna be happy that she's stuck here for the next few days. So I suggest getting her favorite books, movies, and tea before she wakes up."

"What's a moovy?"

"It' like a moving, talking picture."

"All pictures do that."

"But these are the same everytime. Like a play…but in picture form."

"Isn't it boring if it's the sam each time?"

"James! Focus!"

"Right…ok…so where do I get these things."

"Luckily you don't need to run to find them because I have a wand."

She pointed her wand and an odd Black box appeared. It was shiny. I really do like shiny things…

a/n R&R


	3. Of Revivals, Amnesia,and PridePrejudice

**_Chapter Three_**

_Of Revivals, Amnesia, and Pride and Prejudice_

A/N this chappy is for Truly Frightenin Lil Monster Alice (sry they wont let me do ur name as one thing) who reviewed BOTH chapters!

**James' Pro**

_So I'm ready. Sam says I have about ten more minutes. You know Lil is even more beautiful when she sleeps. Don't get me wrong, she's hot when she's angry…but she looks so peaceful. Practically angelic._

James was adrift in his own world when he was ripped from his thoughts by hushed shouting.

"You prick! How dare you insinuate-"

"How dare I? this is entirely your fault!"

"My fault?"

And of course Sam and Sirius were at it again. Whispered screams filling the Hospital Wing.

_I bet they'd have really great sex. Weird thought. But really. All that energy…I bet it'll be like that with Lil. Damn she's amazing. She has the softest hair. Wow…and it's shiny…I love shiny…_

He ran his hand through her hair once more, wishing he could do it while she was awake.

_It's like fire. Like hot sexy fire. Bloody hell I love her. I bet we'll have gorgeous kids. I hope they all have her eyes. They are like giant emeralds…like that bra. That was a great bra..I wonder what happened to it…I bet she looked amazing in it. And her brain! YEAH! They better all get her brain. She is so damn smart. Sam told me to bring her her school books. If I was I the Hospital Wing there's no way I would work. You know she's the only person I've ever met who looks sexy in potions class…everyone else just looks shiny. But not good shiny, bad shiny. Except for her. I can't believe she fell off the broom stick. Hell she is never gonna want to see me again. I'm royally screwed. What if I got her an awesome present. Like and apology gift. I could get her that box thing Sam says she like with the moving pictures…I don't see what's so special about it. It just stays black and shiny…I don't see any pictures._

"Ughh."

_She's waking up! Holy shit what do I do!_

"Sam…pst! Sam! Help!"

"James, shush. Hold her hand. Girls like that. And when she wakes up smile and offer her water or tea. And what ever you do, don't ask her out!"

"I wasn't gonna!"

"Well you've done it at even less appropriate times-"

"Ughh mm" Came Lily's muffled voice.

James took her hand gently and pushed her hair behind her ears once more, enjoying the feeling. Her eyes were now fluttering open. She moaned in pain.

She blinked twice as her eyes opened. Adjusting to the bright sunlight that filled the room.

"Please tell me this is heaven and not the hospital wing!" She grumbled.

James just smiled down at her.

"Potter?"

His smile disappeared instantly. _Great back to Potter._

"What happened."

"I…well..you…" He ran his hand through is tangled hair. Moments passed as he tried to find the right words.

"See Lil," He said timidly, "you kinda, sorta, I mean you did...Well you fell off my broomstick…" He was visibly nervous.

"I what? Wait, what was I doing on your broomstick..I can't fly."

"Clearly."

She scowled.

"I mean…I'm sorry?"

Lily glared at him.

"Lily! You're up!" Sam barged through the curtain, clearly noticing the tension between the two. She quickly enveloped her friend in a long embrace.

"Sam, what happened?"

"Well from what I can tell you were having a very romantic night with Jamsie here, when you fell off a broom…but hey no blood no foul right?" Her dimples showing as she smiled.

"Is that some kinda a sick joke? A romantic night with him?" She said motioning to James, who quickly let go of her hand.

"Yes. Im told he's quite the charmer" At Lily's look of disbelief she added, "Ooh look Sirius is here to see you!" Sam coughed loudly in Sirius' direction.

"Oh right…" He muttered and slowly entered, him mind still on the fight he had been having. He donned a clearly fake smile. "Hey Lily-bean! Good to see your awake. You must have had quite the night with Prongsie here." he said clapping James on the shoulder. James looked up and glared at him friend.

"Is this a prank?"

"No sweetie." Sam responded. "PomPom said it might take a while to remember what happened."

"Well I remember being in the Common Room, with a book, thinking very poetic things…then…yeah James came in-"

_VICTORY! I'M STILL JAMES!_

"-And I told him to leave, but he wouldn't. And then…Um…something about speculating and my bra?"

"Yeah…" James said quietly blushing. "Uhhh...Then we went outside and-"

"Outside?"

"To the Quittich pitch-"

"The Quittich pitch! I don't fly."

"I know! You were just supposed to hold on!"

"To what?"

"Me!"

"What? Why?"

"So you wouldn't fall off the damn broom!" James practically yelled. His frustration getting to him.

Sam quickly place her hand on his shoulder in an attempt to sooth him.

"Lily, what he is trying to say…in a very uncouth manner…is that you let go and _accidentally _fell. He's been really worried." She emphasize the word hoping to sway Lily from the thoughts that it was all on purpose. Yes it was true in the past James did some pretty foul things to her, but never one that would land her in the Hospital Wing.

"Yeah…" James said running his hands threw his hair once again.

Lily looked at him warily.

"Ok…I guess… guys I'm tired." She said trying to change the subject now.

"Sweetie, why don't you get some rest, we'll be right here when you wake up again."

Sam grabbed James and Sirius and pulled them from the room as Lily's eyes fluttered shut.

* * *

"Wow…that was a fail!" James said sadly once they were out of the room.

"What are you talking about? Your in the clear. She has no idea what happened."

"Padfoot, you don't get it. The evening was really nice…she…she even said she trusted me."

"Prong just breath. She's gonna remember by the end of the day, then she'll start yelling at you. And everything will go back to normal"

"What are you daft?" Sam said smacking Sirius in the back of the head.

"No and um ow!"

"He doesn't want to go back to normal, he felt like he was making progress."

"Well he'll make progress another time then."

"Yes but that does away with all his work form last night!"

Their voices were rising yet again.

"Would you guys cool it already? I'm fucked and I don't need two of my best mates frighting right now."

"Sorry." They said in unison.

"So how can we help?" Sam said eventually after an odd silence.

"I don't know." James responded miserably. He leaned against the wall and put his head in his hands. "I'm screwed."

"Yeah and not in a good way."

"Sirius." James warned.

"Common, laughter can only help."

"Or hurt!" Sam chirped.

Sirius glared at her. She ignored him. Instead she chose to walk over to James and wrap her arms around his middle. She leaned her head on his chest.

"Jamie, you know we always work something out. We've been in worse situations. Remember when we hexed all the Slytherin's brooms to fly in spirals? If we could get out of something like that with only a month of detention, we can figure this out."

"She hates me." He whimpered.

"From hatred blooms the purest love…look at Romeo and Juliet! Well actually I personally think they were just horny…ok think Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy."

"Who?" Both boys looked confused.

"Don't you read? Pride and Prejudice? Anyone? Ok point is they hate each other, then something happens and BAM!" Both boys jumped back in shock as she shouted. "They fall in love!"

"Ok Madam Crazy how do we BAMMMM?" Sirius said mockingly.

Sam just smiled. Her eyes twinkling the way they always did when she was going to pull a prank.

* * *

Questions, Comments, Concerns?You know how to reach me :D


	4. Thick as Thieves &Gossipy School Girls

_**Chapter Four**_

_Thick as Thieves and Gossipy School "Girls" _

A/N only four reviews really? You make me sad! I refuse to update unless I get more! LOL love you all! This chapter is dont have lily yet, sry, shes in the hosital wing, im using it to develop James's relationships with his friends!

* * *

Sam and Sirius sat whispering in the corner of the Common Room. They would laugh, flirt, and then proceed to insult teach other loudly. Then one would stop off and eventually return for James' sake.

James was very worried. Beside himself, they were the two master pranksters of the school. Sirius would anything no matter how crazy, and Sam would think of things so crazy it frightened James himself.

"OK let operation Wooing Lily commence." Sirius said quite seriously.

"Hey, who said you got to chose the name."

"Me, 'cuz it's awesome name!"

"It sucks."

"You suck!"

"That's true, but you swallow!"

"Fuck you Samantha."

"You wish you could." She said venomously. Their voice were rising once again.

"I wouldn't touch _that _ with a ten foot pole."

"Well of course not, what would that do? You'd touch it with your two inch '_pole'._" She smirked

"Two inches? More like two inches form the floor!"

"Only because you're on you knees so much."

"No, that's your job." By now everyone in the Common Room stopped and stared.

"And I'm damn good at it!"

"Keep telling yourself that love." He said with an evil smile.

"I can prove it!"

"Please do." He said it in a seductive manor, his voice going soft and his eyes darkening.

They shared a very intense connection of the eyes. Then they both laughed nervously.

"So operation Woo Lily, yeah?" Sam muttered playing with her hair.

"I knew you'd come around about the name love."

"Hush up Siri!"

She quickly slapped her hand over her mouth and blushed.

"Did you just-"

"Shut up you prat!" She screamed and quickly stomped away.

James made is way over to the bewildered Sirius.

"That was…bizarre. What did you do?"

"I have no idea Prongs. We were practically flirting…then.." He shrugged, upset.

"Yeah but you guys are always flirting, then yelling, then flirting while yelling, yeah?"

"It was different." He paused thoughtfully. "She called me Siri…" He smiled sadly. "The last time she called me that was the and of fourth year."

"What ever happened?"

"You know I don't keep secrets mate…but I can't tell you. She'd kill me…then resurrect me and kill me again."

"I don't believe even wizards can bring people back from the dead Padfoot." James said with a laugh.

"She'd find a way…" SIrius muttered and tousled up his hair. "So how are we gonna fix this without the witch with the capital 'B'"

"Well, I don't know if you have any ideas. But I am going to go bed Sammi to help." He said jumping up. "I think I'll bribe her with Pumpkin Pasties."

He start heading to the Dorms.

"Hey, Prongs!"

"Yeah?" James said and turned around a bit shocked.

"Use Chocolate Frogs," He said with a wistful smile, "they're her favorite."

* * *

"Oh Sammi-wammi-kins!"

"Fuck off James!" She said bitterly throw pillow at his head. He successfully dodged it and hoped off his broom.

"You know there's a reason that the stairs turn into a slide. And you could always just transform, it works just as well."

"What are you talking about?" He said far to quickly.

"I know."

"What's to know?"

"Jamie!"

"You're too smart for your own good. How much do you know?"

"It's what the nicknames are from. He's a dog, you're a stag..and Peter…turns invisible?"

"Close. He's a rat."

"That's good for his self esteem."

"We'll it's all he could manage."

"I'm a cat."

"Yeah, a sex kitten!" He said jokingly. "Wait…what?"

"I'm black cat, with amber eyes…and I'm told I look purple tinted in the sun."

James cracked up.

"What? It's true, since third year."

James just kept laughing.

"What's so damn funny?"

"You're a cat, and Sirius is a dog-"

"Don't say it!" She interjected.

"-That's why you fight like c-"

_Whack_! She wasn't a beater for nothing. She hit him straight between the eyes with a pillow.

After a laugh and long moment of silence James spoke up again.

"You know you and Sirius would make the perfect couple…you're both determined to a point where its dangerous. Brilliant. Witty…"

"Yeah well there was a time when we thought that too."

"I had an inkling…What changed?"

"I fucked up." She paused. "Then he fucked up worse."

"Was it that bad?"

"Yes."

Another moment of grave silence passed.

"I'll help you with Lily you know." She said softly.

James smiled, "'Cuz you lurrrrrvvve me."

Sam laugh. "Hardly" She stuck her tongue out. "Love is hard to come by, I missed my shot, there's no way I'm letting you miss yours."

"People get second chances."

"He hates me."

"He loves you."

"I'm not his type. I'm not a tiny, blonde, blue eyed babe, I'm a curvy bookworm."

"Don't say that, you know your pretty. Plus I say so, and what I says goes."

"You might be the only one who thinks so Jamie my love." She replied sadly.

"Not true! I can name a fair amount of guys who want to get into your pants, cough Sirius cough cough."

"Yes but if the giant squid had boobs they'd want to get into it's pants too."

"I guess…Sirius thinks you're beautiful, you know that."

"I'm not his type."

"Sam.."

"I'm not! I'm not a beauty queen, I have a big nose and big hips, I-"

"Come off it, you're sexy and you know it!"

"I wish!"

" Well you sure as hell act like you are. Every pore in your body screams confidence."

"Ha! An act and nothing more I assure you. I hate how I look."

"Your gorgeous!"

"My curves are to big!"

"It's sexy!"

"Sirius doesn't think so...I mean…you know what I mean!"

"Thats not true and you know it."

"Oh yeah?" She said defiantly.

"Yeah! Why do you think he makes it his business who you sleep with?"

"I don't sleep with anyone!"

"Of course you do!"

"No…James..I don't." She said sullen all of a sudden.

"Wait really?"

"Yeah..neither has Lily for the record. You now have have 3 seconds to think about deflowering your flower, then imagination time is over."

About an minute passed before….

SMACK

"What the bloody hell was that for?"

"I gave you 3 seconds, that's plenty of time. Now stop picturing my best mate naked!"

"I will if you will." James said sticking out his tongue and laughing.

"Oh hahaha, Very funny."

"I see you two checkin' each other out in the locker rooms."

She just giggled. She and James had always gossiped about the people they liked like school girls.

"I don't think so."

"Mhmmm the Beaters have it going on." He winked.

She just laughed more.

"You know your the best team of Beater's Gryffindor has had in years."

"That's because we each picture the bludger as each other head."

"Actually Sirius picture it as his mums…and you-"

"Can we get back to you and Lily? Please!"

"Do you think she'll ever go out with me?"

"Well you have until the end of the year…then we graduate."

"But I'll still see you!"

"Yes, and I promise that I'll drag Lily to visit you!"

"And I'll drag Sirius!"

"Ha! "

"You still love him don't you?"

Her smile disappeared.

"What do you mean still?"

"Sam…I know you."

"Well…you love Lily" She said pointing a finger at him accusingly.

"Yeah but I'm willing to admit that!"

She just smacked him playfully in the head with a pillow again.

* * *

plz review! even is its only 1 word!


	5. Of TeenDogBoys, Prostitutes, & Choking

**_Chapter 5_**

_Of Teen-Dog-Boys, Prostitues, and Choking_

"Where the hell were you last night?"

"Humft?" Came Sirius' muffled reply from a mouth full of food.

"What do you mean what do I mean?" James clearly spoke hungry teen-dog-boy. "By the time I got back to the Common Room you were gone."

Sirius swallowed. "So?"

"I needed you for plan WOO-LILY!" He almost cried in frustration.

"Woo Lily?" Peter asked confused. Only now looking up from his waffles.

"Hush Pete!" Remus said nudging him. "I want to here this."

Sirius looked at him sheepishly. "I was spending the night with some wonderful women." He all but purred.

"Padfoot!" James cried.

Remus just sighed and returned to his book.

"Come on mate, just congratulate me and let's get on with breakfast."

"Have you ever considered just one girl?"

Sirius flung eggs at him friend with a laugh, "Where's the Prongs I know? I one who would actually come to the clubs with me!"

James ignored the statement. "Can you just help me with the plan, yeah?"

"Fine, fine. How about an "accidental" locking in a broom cupboard."

"Sure 'cuz that will make Lily happy." Came the voice from behind them. Sam looked tired as though she had slept little last night. The ever-black bags under her eyes more prevalent then ever. "Go on Alice." She said to the the girl next to her with blotchy red eyes. "I'll catch up with you in DADA, and remember, he'll come around. Or he won't. In which case he's not worth it."

"But, I mean...Frank-" the girl said miserably.

"No buts. If it doesn't work just know this, one day he'll be nothing more than a stepping stone on your way to greatness. Now go dry your eyes. The Slytherins will be all over you if you look puffy."

She scurried off to the loo and Sam at down. She poured herself a very large cup of coffee and said "What you need to do is give her something she can't say no to."

"Did anyone invite you to sit down? Or do you always butt in this way?" Sirius said scornfully, now focused on his eggs.

"Oh yeah. Where were you last night you douchy horn-dog?"

"My dorm…"

"You smell like cigarettes, but you have pearly white teeth. And there's a hint of lipstick on your collar. Based on it's shade I'm going to say it belonged to whatever prostitute you picked up at a night club."

"She was NOT a prostitue. And so what? What's it to you? It's not your concern!" He said bitterly, muttering something under his breath that sounded much like "-don't fucking care-."

"Public health is everyones business. If you see her again, which I very much doubt you will, tell her to keep lung cancer to herself. Second hand smoke kills too." She said with mock severity.

"As a matter of fact I'm seeing her tonight. She's a really…swell girl!" Sirius replied hastily. It was the only thing he got out of that sentence.

All three of his friends gave him a bizarre and doubtful look.

"Anyway, James, I have a plan." Sam said covering up concern with an eye roll.

"Thank god!"

"No need to thank me, mate!"

"Shut it Black."

"Just ignore him, Sam." Pete muttered through his food.

"Yeah we all do!" Remus said chucking an apple at Sirius, who quickly snatched it out of the air and took a giant bite.

Sam smiled slightly.

"Anyway, you have to offer her the one thing she can't say no to."

"Teachers?"

"No but oddly close."

They all looked at her curiously.

"Lily is neurotic when it comes to school."

"No really? Sam your bloody brilliant."

"Shut it BLACK!"

He just smiled wickedly.

"Anyway, she has one little trouble, and that's Tranfiguration. Normally I would help her. But if I just so happen to be busy today, I'd have to send someone who is very talented in that class in my place…"

"AND I COULD GO!" James cried excitedly. The entire Great Hall stopped and stared.

"Precisely." Sam said with a giant smile.

"But that only give me a few hours tops with her!"

"I tutor her once or twice a week...but if I have, I don't know, Quidditch practice-"

James wrapped his arms around her. "I love you, you brilliant beautiful woman!" his smile as wide as his face.

Sam blushed and Sirius promptly choked on his apple.

* * *

A/N I know its short but I didnt have time to write more! U GUYS ROCK MY SOCK! 7 REVIEWS! HELL YEAH!

now click the button below and make me happy, plz!


	6. I HUNGER!

**_Chapter 6_**

_I HUNGER!_

so only 3 reviews! u all sadden me!

* * *

"Uh, hi Lily." James said nervously as he walked through the curtain. His hand already in his messy jet black hair.

"What are _you_ doing here?"

"Well I…"

"You what? You dropped me off a broom? You insulted me, so I let go. And it was a bad idea! And if you ever say _shhh you'll see to me _again, I will kill you!" Her voice rose as she finished the sentence.

"What's going on in here?" Madam Pomfrey demanded appearing out of nowhere.

James ran his hand through his hair once more. "I'm here to teach Lily Transfiguration." He said it as a barely audible whisper.

"Your what?" Came both voices at once; one couldn't hear, the other was outraged.

"Umm, Im here to teach Lily Transfiguration." He said slightly louder but just as awkwardly.

Madam Pomfrey gave a curt nod and turned on her heel. The second she was out of hear shot LIly turned to James angrily.

"Where's Sam?" She demanded.

"Sam couldn't come, so she asked me-"

"What do you mean she couldn't come?"

""She has Quidditch practice."

"Oh yeah." She replied snakily. "She has practice without the captain?"

"Well it's only for Beaters, I'm a chaser." He mentally congratulated himself for on the spot thinking.

"So you left Sam and Sirius alone, with a pair of Bludgers and two clubs. And your supposed to teach me something? Great, it's the blind leading the blind in here."

"I left them in Remus' capable hands. And as you know, I happened to be very apt at Transfiguration, thank you very much."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!" He said in a commanding tone. remembering what Sam said about LIly's difficulty with animal Transfiguration, took out his wand and easily turned the lamp beside her into a bunny rabbit, and then back into a lamp.

LIly sat there shocked and truth be told rather jealous. He made it look so easy. _I bet he doesn't ever study! Not fair!_

James smile and dropped a textbook on to Lily's lap gently.

"So page 357 then?"

Lily just nodded and opened the book.

* * *

"Leave me alone SIrius!"

"Common babe, we're supposed to be practicing."

"Quidditch was just a convent lie bone head!"

"Who said anything about Quidditch?" He said with a wink.

Sam promptly threw her book at his head. He caught it and examined it.

"Damn you and your fast hands!" She muttered.

"You know I get that a lot." He said with a sly smile.

Sam cracked up laughing and SIrius was caught off guard. He had expected to be smacked.

"Fuck." She said. "If that wasn't so funny I'd beat the shit out of you."

"Ha! I'm twice your size. What are you five foot?"

"I'm five-three jack-ass!"

SIrius just laughed and stood up to his full height of six two and a half, as he always pointed out. "Oh no! I'm so scared!" He mocked.

She grabbed a pillow from next to her and chucked it at him, half amused, half confused, half pissed off and half in love.

He only caught in and placed it behind his back so he was no longer leaning just against the wall.

The Common Room was basically empty. It was six and most had gone down for dinner. The sun was setting and the fire had just magically turned itself on.

The two of them had stayed to make sure Lily hadn't slaughtered James and disposed of the body.

Sirius' stomach grumbled.

"Common! Let's go get dinner! I hunger."

"We promised we'd wait for James."

"But I hunger!"

"We have to see how things, we-"

"Can't you hear me woman? I FREAKING HUNGER!"

"I hate when you call me women, you know." She stated matter-of-factly.

"Well it seems you hate everything I do Sammi dearest."

She shrugged and shook her head slightly. "Not everything."

"Oh yeah? Name three things you like about me!"

"But-"

"Do it!"

"I…ummm-"

"You can't, can you. Fuck that's sad."

"I can! I just might not care to share!"

He gave her a look.

"What? It's personal!" She said defensively.

"I'll do yours after." He said eyes twinkling. He had the advantage of knowing one of her greatest weaknesses. Curiosity killed the cat. However, as Sam always pointed out, cats get nine lives.

"Fine!"

"Victory!" He cried and did a mini and very dorky dance.

"Well…Your a great Beater."

"Ok that's one."

"You a decent prankster."

"Oh I am so more than decent."

"Fine, fine, your a good prankster, but not as good as I am." She said the last part with a smug smile and stuck her tongue out.

"If you stick your tongue out I will steal it you know."

She blushed furiously. "Hey, that's my line! You stole it."

"Take it as a compliment love. It was good enough to be worth stealing."

She looked away.

"So a third, yeah?" she muttered.

He just smile. Silently praying the last thing would be about him, not about things he was good at.

The room was silent. SIrius looked disappointed.

"You honestly can't think of three things, that's just sad."

He looked crest-fallen.

Sam hastily added, "You make me laugh."

Her eyes focused on the fire.

Sirius smiled. Not his usually mischievous smirk, but an honest-to-god genuine grin. Yet he said nothing, scared that if he did she might retract the statement.

Sam felt awkward and almost instantly regretted her words. She wondered how he had that effect on her. Such a normally guarded person, he broke down all her barriers and made her brain go to goo.

"So let's go get dinner then."

* * *

so only 3 reviews? r u all lame :(

and make sarah sad!


	7. CHapter 7

**_Chapter 7_**

_Withering Heights, Three Things, and Tear Drops_

A/N sorry i no its been 11 days! wow that seems so long! but fanfiction wouldn;t let me update! :(

So 5 reviews! not bad. but i no that lik4 20 ppl are on the alert list! I know 7ou are out there. Please review and tell me what you want to see in the story!

"So how'd it go?" Sam asked setting her book on the table next to her. It was about eight o'clock. She and Sirius had returned from dinner an hour ago. With no sign of James she had grabbed her copy of Withering Heights, found an armchair by the fire, and pretended to read while throwing looks at Sirius. Sirius himself was on the other side of the room, un-started potions essay at hand, he was playing catch with himself, a worn tennis ball bouncing merrily against any flat surface of the room. His eyes stared absent-mindedly at either the fire or Sam.

"Well good…I think." James replied, clearly confused about the evening.

"When you left did she tuck her wand behind her ear or put it away?" Sam said in a matter-of-fact way.

"What?"

"You heard me!"

"Why does that matter." James asked, his confusion growing.

"Because when she's interested in something, she practices and practices. (Because she's crazy! Sirius interjected). If she put the wand behind her ear, she intends to use it. If she puts it away, she's done with a subject."

"Well…" James murmured, trying to recall the nights event. "...she put it on the night stand next to her."

"Hrm…that's a new one. Well at least it means she hasn't written you off yet."

James sighed. "Well it's better than nothing."

"Ok so phase one complete!" Sirius said with a wide grin.

"Time for phase two!" Sam added.

"Ok, but how do we get her to let me tutor her instead of you?"

"Well if I'm not available she has no choice." Sam said smiling to herself.

"Well it's not like you can have practice every single hour of every single day of every single week."

"No, but if I'm being tutored then I may not have time to tutor her."

"But you're passing all your subjects." James protested.

"So we'll pretend I'm not."

"So which class are you failing? She'll know it's not true. She sees you in class." James said with a melancholy tone in his voice.

"Well we have a few classes separate."

"So what you'll fail divination? Ha!" Sirius said, clearly doubtful.

"Well...let's see. She's not in my Care of Magical Creatures class. She has Arithmacy then, which I refuse to take. Math is hell in number form you know." Sam said, Sirius nodded enthusiastically in agreement.

"How can someone fail Care of Magical Creature? Plus animals love you, everyone knows that." James insisted.

"Yee of little faith!" The boys looked at her oddly. " She sighed. I'll just pretend like they don't. I don't know. I'll act like a failed a big project."

"FIne, fine. Now we find you a tutor and get them to not tell Lily."

"Well I can do it." Sirius said quickly.

They looked at him, each with a wary expression.

"I've never gottan anything but an O in that class. I don't even try—"

"That's not surprising—" Sam cut him off with a jab.

Sirius turned to glare at Sam. "You do know I do work right?"

"Oh course, you work on your hair and your muscles, and even on your singing!" She said mockingly.

"You swore yourself to secrecy!" Sirius cried.

Sam shrugged, it was worth it. She glanced over at James who was red in the face from trying not to laugh.

Sirius punched James in the shoulder "lightly." His way of saying shut it or else.

"Ow!" James said loudly, clearly not in any real pain.

"Tsk Tsk Sirius. Violence is not the answer." Said Sam shaking her head back and forth disapprovingly a smile playing on her lips.

"You're right. It's the question. Yes is the answer!"

Both James and Sam rolled their eyes at this comment.

Sam smacked him in the head lightly. Then she turned to James. "I usually tutor her on Tuesdays. 8pm sharp. In the library. And I suggest a detailed lesson plan, she takes these things rather seriously."

Sirius snorted.

Once again James and Sam looked at him oddly.

"What? It was funny. It's like the understatement of the century!"

James just shrugged. "I'm gonna dash off the the kitchens. No dinner means I hunger."

Sam glared, and James had absolutely no idea why.

"So, yeah. Later." He said with a nod at Sam and left the two alone once again.

Sirius just shook his head and with a laugh reached for his essay.

"You never told me my three things you know."

"Sorry, what?" Sirius said looking up at Sam, who once again had her book in front of her face. Little did he know that behind it she was beet red.

"My three things." She paused. "You promised, if I told you three things about you…" She trailed off.

"Right." Sirius said.

There was an awkward moment of silence.

"Well?" Came the voice from behind the novel.

Sirius smiled lightly to himself. A look of deep thought cast itself over his face and eyes.

Sam waited, pretending to read. Her eyes glared holes in her beat-up copy of the book. It was as though she was trying to peer through the yellowed pages and smeared ink, past the ripped up spine and into Sirius's soul.

Her fingers tapped on her knee subconsciously.

"Well…" Sirius mused, desperately trying to find a positive that would neither please nor insult her. I mean other than the last one, her first to were just about stuff I do well, he thought. "You are…creative?"

"Creative?"

"Creative. Yeah!" He said to himself, trying self encouragement. "Like with pranks, and this plan, and insults.." He trailed off.

"Oh um, thanks." She said disappointed.

More silence passed. "And your….talented. You know, with school and flying…"

Behind her book tears had started forming in Sam's eyes. With a swift movement she wiped one away, shocked at how much she hurt.

She glance at Sirius only to find his back was towards here. He was tossing the ball in the air what appeared to be nonchalantly.

"Oh." She said softly.

She placed her book on the night stand and got up.

He said nothing

"Goodnight then." She muttered miserably. The pain in her voice had broken through. She turned on her heel just as Sirius turned to face her.

He watched her walk to the girls stair case. AWords weighing on his mind, dancing on the tip of his tongue.

"You make me smile." He said in a rush as she turned out of sight.

Sam paused on the staircase, on the verge of looking back she rushed into her dorm and ran to her bed.

If she had stopped to spare a glade she would have seen Sirius gazing at the fire, a single tear resting on his cheek.

A/N

I know you are out there! click the link, say good story and make me smile for a day!


	8. She's Crazy, Shakespeare Anyone? & Night

_**Chapter Eight**_

_She's Crazy, Shakespeare Anyone? and Nightmares_

SO this a short chapter, because I just updated liek 2 days ago. but i felt super bad that fanfiction wouldnt let me update for 2-3 weeks...so i wrote this bit at 2am while i was delusional with the flu! ENJOY

* * *

"Sam, you need to sneak me out of here. I can't take it!"

"Lily, calm yourself. it's only one more day."

"I can't take it! She's crazy!"

"Shush, she'll here you!"

"I don't care! She makes me stay in bed all day. She took away my books! My beautiful textbooks! She said I would over-exert myself! My book!"

"Shhhh, it's ok." Sam said stroking her hair soothingly. "I brought you this." She added with a wink,slipping a copy of Moste Potente Potions into Lily's hands.

"You are a goddess!" She said with a squeee! She hugged her friend tightly.

Sam just smiled. "Just doing my job."

Lily grinned widely.

"So how did the tutoring session go? Sorry I couldn't come."

"It was…interesting."

"Uh oh interesting? Or oh yeah interesting?"

"Um, neither."

"Oh good, because, well, he's gonna be tutoring you from now on…" Sam muttered sheepishly.

"Wait, what?"

"You heard me."

"No! Why?"

"What, he wasn't good?"

"No he was great, but that's not the point!"

"Then what is?"

"I don't…I mean..It's fricking Potter!"

"Well I can't do it anymore. And he's the best in the class (after me and possibly Black). And he owes me a few favors, so he agreed to help out."

"But! No! Why can't you do it anymore?"

"Because I need to be tutored myself…" She murmured again.

"No you don't!"

"Yes I do! You don't need to make fun of me for needing extra help." Sam said sadly, putting her head in her hands. Her muffled laughter was confused for tears by Lily, who quickly attempted to sooth her friend.

"Oh sweetie, i didn't mean it that way. I'm sorry. Please don't be mad…I-"

Sam looked up, eyes red from rubbing. She put on a pout, although her eyes were smiling.

She stifled her "sobs."

"It's ok Lil. It's just a touchy subject."

"What class? You seems so on top of it all."

"Care of Magical Creatures."

Lily burst out laughing. Then seeing the look on her friend's face covered her mouth. "Sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."

Sam nodded understandingly.

"But how can you fail CMC?"

"Well It's N.E.W.T.S level! It's not easy. And I had a run in with a Hippogryff last semester…and…"

"Ok, I get it. Who's tutoring you?"

"Black." Sam replied distainfully.

Lily giggled again.

"So yeah, I'm in the same boat you are, but they both are talented…"

"I guess-"

"So we just have to suck it up."

Lily sighed and stuck her tongue out at Sam. "Fine, fine!"

"Good. Well I'm off. Tomorrow, 8pm, the usual table. He'll be there."

"Noooo! Don't leave me! She's evil!"

Sam gave her a hug. "You'll be fine. I believe in you!" She said mockingly.

She gave her friend a smiled and turned to leave.

"Sammmmmiiii!"

"Lilyyyyy!" She laughed and with a wave was gone.

* * *

"So?"

"So what?" Sam said sitting down next to Remus and helping herself to the Pumpkin juice.

"So what did she say?" James demanded. He looked like he was about to burst.

Sam laughed and put her hand to her forehead in a vogue-like way.

"Fie how these old bones ache. Give me leave awhile." She said making a shoo-ing motion.

Three of the four Marauders looked at her confused. Remus chuckled.

"What? It's Romeo and Juliet."

He friends gave him a look but he just shrugged and went back to his mashed potatoes.

But not before sighing and muttering "Does no one read Shakespeare anymore...*something no one could hear*...idiots."

James didn't notice, he just looked like he was about the shake Sam senseless.

"So?" He prompted.

Sam just fluttered her eyelashes innocently.

"Sam!" He practically screamed across the table.

She just laughed. "LIke I said, tomorrow, eight o'clock sharp."

"Oh my god! You are the best!" He cried reached across the table and grabbing her in a tight hug. He kissed her on the cheek making a loud "mwah!" sound.

Sam gasped. "Air! I need air." She said as James let her out of his death grip.

James just laughed and ruffled her hair.

Remus smiled behind his book and Sirius looked jealous.

But Sam didn't notice, she was busy telling James how to plan out Lily's lesson.

* * *

"Hey Padfoot, you awake?" James whispered through red curtains. It was two in the morning and he was wide awake, staring at the ceiling. He was thinking about Lily, as usual.

The siders they want me to tap dance, I don't want to tap dance!"

"What?" James asked, confused and puling the curtains back.

"No! It's my cookie!" Sirius screamed, rolling over in his sleep. James stared at Sirius, red in the face with laughter.

Before him lay his best friend, clad in only boxers, hugging a stuffed dog tightly to his chest, muttering incessantly.

"No…not whipped cream! It's sticky! Nooo!" He rolled over again, clearly in the grips of a nightmare. James shook him awake.

"Whaaa? What's going on? I don't know how to tango!" He cried as he awoke abruptly.

"Shush! Padfoot. it's only a dream!"

Sirius looked around and sighed in relief.


	9. Chapter 9

So this is unedited! but its been sooo long! im sorry, I had to do the whole college thing

more to come, i hope you guys still read, i love you all

* * *

"Ready for lesson number two?" James said with a shy grin and he sat down across from a peeved redhead.

"You're late." She replied curtly.

James looked down at his watch. He had arrived at the library with five minutes to spare, Sam had warned him about punctuality, and then remembered his books where in Gryffindor town. Even with his sprinting he was still three minutes passed schedule.

"Sorry, Lil-"

"Sam is never late..." She grumbled.

"Well, right now Sam is being tortur- I mean, tutored by Sirius, and unless you'd rather go, watch the two of them going at it, and try to get some information out of Sam between their odd mix of flirt fighting, I suggested you let the three minutes slide." He said in one big huff, still slightly out of breath from running.

Lily, shocked by his out burst just said, "hmff" and opened her book.

James smiled to himself, happy he had taken some form of control.

The lesson wore on with little being said. He reviewed notes with her, and showed her how to hold her wand so the chair next to her would stop being made of wood when she turned it into a bunny. As Sirius had once said, wooden animal decorations are just creepy.

* * *

A few weeks had passed in tranquility. Yes, there was daily fighting between Sam and Sirius, but all seemed calmer with out Lily and James at each other's throat. This change could be attributed to the fact that Sam basically wrote scripts for James for each lesson, or to the fact the Lily finally was gaining some respect for James (mostly because Sam wrote scripts for him at each lesson.)

It was about midnight on a seemingly harmless Tuesday when an exhausted Sam stormed down to the common room insistent that Lily go to bed.

"It's midnight. Beddie Bye time. Now." Sam grunted grumpily to Lily, who sat in her usual arm chair by the fire, reading transfiguration notes.

"Sammi, just go to sleep. I'll be up in a few minutes."

"You said that an hour ago." Sam said with a sigh.

"Five more minutes!"

"You realize you sound like a poorly behaved child who keeps hitting the snooze on her alarm clock."

Lily just laughed. She was wide awake.

"Common, you're always up in the middle of the night and I never scold you."

"Ok first of all, we both now that you never "never scold anyone." And secondly, that's called insomnia. It is not a choice, and it is not healthy. Now move your tush!"

"Why do you care?"

"'Coz you always turn on the light to find your bed, and it wakes me up! I'm tired. Sleep now moo-cow!"

"Fine, fine, no need to rhyme." Lily grudgingly complied.

Sam turned to head back up the stair when Lily jumped and screamed,

"I knew it! I fricking knew it! Those bastards! Well they won't get away with it, I can promise you that."

"Um, Lily, what's going on."

"Shhhh you'l see, come with me." She said and roughly grabbed Sam's wrist and pulled her out of the common room.

"Lily I'm in a nighty."

"Shhhh you'll see."

"I'm not wearing shoes."

"Shhhh you'll see."

"Lily I'm not wear a fricking bra."

"Shhhh you'll see."

"Lily, bra!"

"Oh just deal! My wands in Common Room or I'd summon one."

"Shit so is mine."

"Doesn't matter, we won't need them."

She continued to trudge along, her companion in tow.

"Lily we're not going outside."

"Yes, we are." She said and shoved Sam through the door.

By now Lily was running towards the Forbidden Forest.

"Lily! Lily come back here now!" Sam yelled. She began to run knowing Sam wouldn't catch her. Lily was smaller and slighter. Plus, she had a head start, which just wasn't fair.

"Lil!" Sam screamed again as she started to pant, she was about thirty feet behind Lily.

Sam was ignored.

"Please Lily." Sam all but whimpered.

Lily stopped for a moment and looked back at her friend. "I've suspected the Marauders sneak out on full moons for years. But I finally caught them! I saw a foot walking alone! They're under that damn cloak! And I can't stand by while-"

"Lily, you don't know what you're doing. For the sake of our relationship please stop."

Lily paused to mull it over, then quickly turned and began to run again.

* * *

Sirius' ear pricked, he froze a mid his wrestling match with James. Then quickly made the single that meant "must talk, follow me."

The pair ran about a mile and transformed back into themselves.

"I heard something."

"So?"

"Some_one_. Shush and listen."

"I don't hear anything."

"Well I do! It sounds like…like someone coming towards the forest!" he finished in a rush.

"Listen, there are foot steps. Running." Sirius put his year to the gowned.

"There are two of them. Girls, I think. One is faster with lighter steps, the other is behind her."

James could here it now, his face a mask of worry.

"Stop!-y-ease sto-" Came a voice in the wind.

"What's it saying?"

"Stop I think?"

"Someone help please!" Rang through the trees.

"Come on. We need to move Moony." James said transforming back into a stag. Sirius barked, now a large, black, shaggy dog, and they began to run back to the clearing where Remus and Peter played.

They voices were getting closer. Sirius was sure the first girl had just entered the forest. He could almost make out what they were saying or rather yelling back and forth.

* * *

"Lil, you don't understand! It's not safe!"

"If the Marauders can be here, I can." She panted back, stopping for breath.

Sam entered the forest and was gaining on Lily.

She may be a faster runner, Sam thought, but I weave through the trees faster.

"Lily, if you love me, you'll turn around and leave now!"

"Oh would you stop protecting them already. I know you and Potter are mates, and god only knows what's going on with Sirius, but I'm your best mate and-"

"I'm protecting you!" She said grabbing Lily by the arm; she had finally made it up to her friend.

"From a forest?"

"No! From a werewolf!"

"Don't be daft. Dumbledore wouldn't let werewolves run around the forest. He knows students fool around in here."

"He might...for a very special student."

Lily gave Sam a look, trying to read Sam's face for the answer she feared. A howl erupted through the forest, making Lily shiver in fear. Sam pressed her finger to her lips, shushing Lily, and motioned for her to follow.

* * *

A tense Sirius growled largely at his werewolf friend. So far, Remus had not noticed the scent of the two girls, nor had he focused enough to hear the footsteps. Yet, the three animagi were unable to press him deeper into the forest, or at least into the Shrieking Shack.

Peter was distracting Remus while James and Sirius found a clearing to talk in.

"We have to go warn them."

Sirius nodded solemnly. He transformed, sniffed the ground for a scent, and motioned for his friend to follow.

There was something all too familiar about the smell. It set Sirius's hairs on edge.

On some level he was not surprised when he smelled perfume that made him halt in his tracks. He looked to James, who clearly had not caught on yet.


End file.
